One of these days you’re going to find the love of your life, and he’s going to be such a square.
My Mom
His little paws were sticking out, and everytime I opened my bag and saw him, all I could think was “fuck, people must think I’m completely out of my damn mind”.

With the launch of AA’s
new line of bedding—pillowcases or twin/queen/king sheet sets in either gray or white—comes a whole new opportunity for Dov to photograph young ladies in compromising positions. But hey, at least it matches the
store signage. (via
Racked)
To the woman wearing a straight up Gone With the Wind corset and bell bottoms, what the fucking fuck, I hate you.
To the three ghetto dudes drinking beers, who were all wearing white sneakers, shorts passed your knees, backwards NY Yankees hats and hollering at every girl with a big ass, you’re a fucking walking cliche and I hate you.
To the fucking pilot, who felt the need to make an announcement every 20 minutes, nobody wants to hear your voice as much as you do, shut the fuck up. I hate you.
To the mama’s boy Brazilian dude who did not stop drumming on the hand rest, you were shaking the entire god damn row, you fucking retard. I hate you.
To the two lesbians who were sitting in front of me talking and laughing and having a grand old time for the entire course of the flight, I hate you, but only because I’m jealous of your relationship.